Essays & Ideas


Learn, forget, explore, remember.

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The Garden

Essays & Ideas

The Sin of Blocking

The only sin is blocking. To block is to hinder someone else doing something. Could be drastic: killing them and blocking them from living. Or minor: saying something negative and blocking them from their good mood. Ruining things for others to gain yourself is the Sin of Blocking.

Essays & Ideas

The Unpredictable is Frightening

Why is the chanting of children’s rhymes so suggestive and frequently used in horror movies? The innocence of the often mundane words, repeated mechanically, is a magical chant that appears to possess the children. They become something else, they look like children but are controlled by unseen forces through the recital of the rhyme. Through this external influence they become unpredictable and therefore frightening.

Essays & Ideas

Spelling: Names and Mirroring

You don’t really have a name. It isn’t inherent in the essence of a human. It’s just arbitrary sounds your parents made up as a reference to you and to get your attention. Names define things and summons people when spoken – and are as such a kind of spell.

There is a lot of truth in that you have power over someone if you know their name. How much power does your name hold over you? Is it possible to take control over the spelling of your name and thus change yourself? Or to shed that influence entirely by becoming nameless?

Names can be used as spells to inflict discomfort and pain. Mispronounced, distorted on purpose, or a name or epithet you find wrong or degrading. And you can literally destroy someone by using their deadname (name from before a gender transition).

The power of names can of course also be harnessed for benign purposes. By taking control of what you are called you can influence both how others and yourself perceive who you are. A magician could find many uses for magical aliases as they sets your mind and the minds of others in a certain, chosen state. A well constructed alias or epithet is similar to a mask changing your persona. You become different.

A way of intentionally causing change in yourself is if you very subtly but constantly refer to yourself as for example “The Author”. Everyone around you will come to adapt that eventually and you’ll be known in their minds as “The Author”. I call this effect “mirroring yourself” since you create a desired image of yourself in the minds of others and when they reflect this upon you it will reificate the change in yourself that you strive for.

So in essence: If we name something it is instantly changed, it’s made real or changed in some way. An alteration of reality. Names are a strong magical tool that can be used for creative and destructive purposes. Be careful how you name people.

Essays & Ideas

The Languages of Magic

Why do the calls of the Aethyrs work better in Enochian?

Scientists believed for a long time that the Akkadians had invented a secret cipher to write about magic and religion since those texts were not written in the Akkadian language. Then they realized that it was written in the much older, and up until then unknown, Sumerian language. For some reason the older language had been preserved for ritual and magic purposes.

Many years later the Christian church used Latin in their bibles and masses for a long time even though the use of languages changed and ordinary people didn’t understand a word of it. Even now, long after it finally was translated, everyone still prefers the archaic language in the old bible translations over the later, more modern translations. And of course popular media still uses Latin to depict spells and magic. Sigils could maybe be seen as an extreme of this as it is writing that becomes unintelligible on purpose.

Much of the occult currents from the last centuries used the Hebrew letters language a basis for many magical systems, for instance Hermetic Kabbalah and Tarot, although none of the practitioners spoke it as first language, in fact it was near extinct until it was revived in the 19th century. Inherent in the Hebrew letters are the numbers used in Gematria and the endless mathematical computations, often very abstruse, are abundant in occult literature.

I write both fiction and these essays in English despite my native language being Swedish. Why? Well, the simple reason is that it sets my mind in another state. It forces me to think in another way and kind of elevates me into a heightened state of writing. More focused, somehow. Using a different language distances me from the feeling of the banal and mundane that my first language gives when I try to write about magic. It makes me into another writer than I am when writing in Swedish.

The same phenomena is found in music. Sweden has a lot of musicians that sing in English instead of Swedish. Not to get an international career, but just because they think it suits the music better singing in English. I also do this with my band. I tried to write Swedish lyrics with the same topics as usual, but then it felt like it was written for a different band and I eventually made it a solo-album.

Writing in different languages have inherent differences that makes you think in different ways. To the Germans the Sun is feminine and the Moon masculine. That affects what you think they symbolize and how you describe them in writing. There is an African language that don’t describe directions as left or right. They use south of, or north of, etc, for everything. That makes them subconsciously very aware of the orientation of directions at all times. And so on.

So, there are several parts to this: The language itself, how it makes you think and feel and a distancing from the ordinary may be some key elements to why we as humans appear to use older language for our magic, spells and our beliefs.

Chanting the calls of the Aethyrs in Enochian is a more effective way of putting yourself in the right state of mind to work your magic.

Essays & Ideas

Elastic times are here again

The memory of time will be compressed if nothing special has happened. This has for a long time been my idea, my understanding, of what happens when you experience and remember time. You have a sense of time passing when you are in the middle of doing something. And if what you are doing is something special you will remember this as a moment in time.

But if you only do ordinary, mundane things, several in a row, and nothing out of the ordinary happens, all those moments will be stacked together in your memory. Those unlabeled chunks of time contract to a diffuse unit of nothing special, a kind of void, and get counted as one single event in time.

So only if something out of the ordinary happens it gets its own spot in memory. Several noteworthy experiences will give the feeling of longer time occupied. Two weeks on an exotic holiday will feel longer than four months at a repetitive work when you remember it. And it turns out this is actually what really happens physically in the brain.

Recent research in neuroscience by Nobel laureates confirms my idea almost exactly. So this is why time seem to move so fast these days: We’re never doing something out of the ordinary. I wanna change that, right now.

Essays & Ideas

What is magic?

While I agree with the modern definition of magic as “to intentionally cause an effect” I would like to add my own statements about what magic is to me.

  • Magic is the effect/outcome/product of thinking.
  • Magic is the transference of thoughts.
  • Magic is metacognition. Getting aware of yourself and to some extent affect that self.
  • Magic is connection – to other minds, entities, currents, realities.
  • Magic is to shape and create layers of realities by changing your state of consciousness.
  • Magic is finding, unlocking and accessing previously unavailable unconscious parts of yourself.
  • Magic is to take control over your mind and not be controlled by urges or impulses, to make conscious choices. Doing things not because you have to, but because you want to.
  • Magic is reaching a higher vantage point; to observe our mundane selves, to understand, evolve, and appreciate those selves and their beauty.
  • Magic is taking part in the [entirety] before the wave breaks. To reach existence beyond actual reality, to take part of the world larger than physical life while still a human, before we die and become something else than the one we are in this waveform.
  • Magic is (or at least was) tuning in to patterns, currents, culture, collective subconscious, ideaspace, the zeitgeist, etc, to form a understanding of things to come (which could be called precognition).

So, just to be clear, there is nothing magical about magic – it’s all in our heads. However, it’s no less real, and things in our heads have a tendency to move out into reality. And when they do it is magic – manifest of thought, in action or artifact, or as another state of mind.

Essays & Ideas

How to be a magician

Exercise your mind. Let it wander, let it wonder. Make it afraid, make it reel. Force it to work, make it stop. Excite it, please it, direct it, restrict it and rest it. Dissolve all borders. Focus and collapse, again and again!

Essays & Ideas

Humor is the key

Love isn’t all you need; it’s laughter you need. Horrible things are made by lovers in the name of love (love of people and gods). But laughter disarms. Those who share a laugh also share common ground. It eases fear and creates meaning where there might be none. It strips power from unjust power. It enlightens a heavy world. Humor is the key.

Essays & Ideas

The Value of Nothing

We get to borrow one life out of nothing. But then, after a limited time, we’ll have to hand it back and return to nothing.

While we are something we can use that existence as best as we can, by giving values to anything we feel should have value. To assign value to things and then appreciating that value may bring us comfort, happiness, motivation, etc. But as soon as we’re gone, that value we imbued in things is also gone.

Sometimes a value can be carried a bit further by those that are still alive. But that is only a postponing of the dissolving value. They will die too and as soon as no one cares or remember anymore, it is gone again.

This is because not only we, but also the value itself, is borrowed from nothing. However valuable to us – it is really nothing.

Even the entire Universe itself is energy borrowed out of the true vacuum of nothing. It is a Sea of Frequencies with rising and declining waves. Matter is rising from (sub-)quantum fields and from matter our cells, bacteria and bodies emerge as a chemical conglomerate of molecules.

In the end we are all but the aggregated coagulations of matter, of waves, of nothing.

To enjoy nothing, to give value to nothing, accepting that it is only temporary, is, at least to me, a kind of positive nihilism. It calms my chaotic self and gives me solace from the burden of imposed purpose. It truly liberates my will.

It’s an invaluable marvel – cherish it, value it, make the most of it while you are something.

There is no God, only The Sea.

Essays & Ideas

The four basic forces

“Magic, art, language and consciousness are four facets of the same thing”, says Alan Moore. I think of these facets as the basic forces that shapes our realities. Our entire culture is built from these forces. How we interact is through these forces. The qualities of life is emerging from these forces.

Essays & Ideas

Magical beings

Angels and demons, ghosts, beings, visions, burning bushes. They are real – but we project them all from ourselves. Alone or together. We are waves projecting waves. From inside we make them autonomous insofar as we cannot control it with our consciousness. They are feelings, emotions, memories, influences from the outside that get stuck inside us, events, words & spells, accidents, intense experiences. It coagulates and becomes something manifest inside. Angels and demons or cerebrions and mygdalons. We can conjure up, evoke, summon, them with our magic and will, but they are not obeying unless we follow our own believed or constructed set of rules on how to contain and control them. Uncontrolled and unrestricted they can be very dangerous. But all gods, demons and angels can be of service if humans harness their powers.

Essays & Ideas

Doctrines are Alphabeths

Occult systems, religions, superstition, myths and stories, etcetera, are more or less intricate systems for describing the outer and inner worlds. They are alphabets which can be used to make abstract concepts, feelings and thoughts manifest in an objective way as words. Doctrine form a symbolic world of words which makes it easier to understand, discuss and remember. Unfortunately that alphabet often gets mistaken for the actual world and people start believing, or even worshiping, the words themselves.

Essays & Ideas

The Veil of Coherence

Some things are made real only through agreement of many people and no one believes it can be changed. Those things are made up concepts that is considered unquestionable “normal” or “natural” and “how it has been and always should be”.

The positive effect of this is that it brings stability and trust in that these things, even if we can not see or touch them, will still exist. Ten dollars is ten dollars and never nine dollars whatever it’s exchange rate.

The negative is that it strongly inhibits change. Like Saturdays. They do not exist, there is really no such thing as Saturdays, it’s just another indistinguishable rotation of the Earth relative to the Sun. But even if everyone would want another Saturday in a week instead of, say, a Wednesday, it’s extremely difficult to change, though not impossible.

If enough people agree to lift The Veil of Coherence we could have two Saturdays every week.

Essays & Ideas

Everything and its opposite is one

One important thing to understand is that magic is never an isolated event. It is always a relation, reaction or an effect or correlation of something. It’s like if I push down here, that other part will rise. And we can not have anything without its opposite. High ambition can bring contempt for those less ambitious, but neither is the only true way. You are the faults of your qualities. The vivid energy of Chokmah (the male, the pure energy, the lingam, symbolic phallos) need a receptor to not be wasted; and the latent energy of Binah (the female, the form and potential energy, the yoni, symbolic vagina) need the trigger of cum to activate. One thing triggers the other, and another is the product of what came before.

Essays & Ideas

Conglomerate personalities

The physical reality is not the only reality. There is another, less thought of, reality that is equally real. It is created by our culture, our social paradigms and it is as real as our physical existence. We all live in multiple realities. This non-physical reality exists in our collective minds, in our culture and makes manifest in action, words, writing and so on. Ideas are intangible but very much real things and they affect the physical world constantly.

The same way thoughts shape who we are. We are not merely biological lumps of flesh – we are the sum of both the physical and the extra physical realities that makes up our world. That is how we in our psyche can be another person than we are physically. And it is no less real just because the difference is not visible to the eye. You have to look deeper to see that dimension of someone. You have to gain insight into that person to see who they really are. And by who I mean that in plural.

Because no one is just one person. I am a conglomerate of several personalities, impulses, hidden feelings and hardwired responses. I got several creative strains, curious and bold bits and pieces as well as the bad sides, as doubt and spleen (in the sense poets used to use the word). Sometimes rambling, sometimes taciturn. Sometimes the wise man, sometimes the trickster.

And I’m fluctuating – both internally and in contact with others externally. For instance, I can’t easily explain who I am. My identity is diverse but singular at every moment. Mind you, this is no weakness, it gives me strength. But as I said, it’s fluctuating. It all depends on who I am with. This range of identities doesn’t show to people, they meet the same one, and I keep a solid facade, can’t break conventions, society wants labels, clear cut and unambiguous people that are easily understood. Gradients are effectively repressed so that there is only two official colors. Who’d want a complicated society where everyone is different?

So I act very differently towards different people. I also act different when alone depending on mood and I don’t know what – I’m fluid and unpredictable. The thing that is supposed to be me, my self, I, is in fact only a control center trying to make sense of all the parts conflicting and warring. I am not one person – I am many. As we all are.

Or are we all? I’ve met so many people that never seem to change. They are very solid and unmutable. One-dimensional. They oppose change, they get upset by non-binary possibilities. I have heard a person actually say that he had done what he wanted and now only wanted every day to be the same. Someone really said that. Yes, really. So maybe we are different. Maybe some people are just one person while others are an entire menagerie. Nothing wrong with that. Celebrate diversity! Life would be simpler but rather boring if my inner crowd dispersed.

Added later: Career-wise I am constantly moving through different expressions, albeit of the same core profession. I have successfully worked as film director, director of photography, editor, photographer, graphic designer, author and lately as copywriter. I’ve won awards for both writing and directing. And people have payed me good money to work with these different expressions. I enjoy it all but tend to drift between them which makes it difficult to convince people that I am rather good at all those things. Because you can apparently be good at only one thing, just look at mr DaVinci. Irony intended. In the end it all comes down to different aspects of storytelling for me. That is my core profession. I’ve thought about calling myself a pan-medial storyteller. But no one will understand what I mean by that so maybe multidisciplinary storyteller would be better. Except for the discipline part. I defy discipline but rather enjoy to enforce it in others. But that is another story.