Categories
Journal Prose

Life under the surface

There’s a child in the little woodland lake, just below the surface. I see her dark shape in the water. I try to reach her, but my strength is gone. The wind moves my rowboat away from her until I lose sight. Who was she, what would she have become if I’d been able to save her?

Every night, every day, there are moving shadows in the water. They swim and play, happy and teasing. They lure me, want me to catch them, to bring them up into the boat. They want to breathe and manifest. They are children of my imagination, my ideas, my mind, my life.

Categories
Featured Poetry

Imagine me real

The less you look the more I exist. Like a faraway light in the night. Look a bit on the side and I become brighter. In daylight I hide in plain sight, invisible to naked eyes, only knowable to open-minded hearts. Words are my intangible body. I am the dance of little ghosts.

Categories
Journal

Me fox, you scorpion

The scent of her presence always upbeated my heart. The cogs in her mind ignited the ones in mine – it’s called cognition. I long, but memory is short – her sharp tongue could sting and hurt me like nothing else.

I remember our time together. It was like the tale of the fox and the scorpion. I was swimming with her on my back, trying to get us both to shore, but you couldn’t help stinging me, cause that’s your nature.

Maybe I’m ready to move on now.

Categories
Journal

The phase transition of wood

Yesterday I was logs of tar wood burning from all the things that were wrong and beyond my control. Today I am the transcending flakes of ashes with their Brownian motion in the gusts among the oblivious living trees. Tomorrow – maybe I can be a seed in the newly fertilized soil?

Categories
Poetry

Reduction by complication

I’m neurons firing in the golden halls up high. I’m hormones reigning in bloody hell. I’m the salty tears from the currents and chemicals of Sodom and Gomorrah. I’m the coalesced sentry of the connectome adrift in a forest of nothing.

Categories
Poetry

Perspective

If you were on Venus
Earth would look
like Venus does
From Earth

Categories
Journal

Entering 2020

2019 in review
I expanded a short-story that got accepted into an anthology (due out 2020). I also recorded some music and kinda finished the novel I’d been writing since forever. I continued up the tree, visited Geburah and did some writing on magic.

I made a peace treaty with my body. I declared that I’m a binary star. While I fought my old foes fatigue and depression I got stuck in boy-mode. I didn’t have energy to get close to anyone so I kept mostly to myself, reading, recuperating.

2020 in preview
I wanna quickly edit and publish two almost done novels. Then move on to writing more short stories that won’t take ten years to finish. Gonna record more new music, solo and with two different bands. Get dirty with some visual arts, both ink+paper and digitally.

I wanna find energy enough to get close to someone for snuggling, giggles and stuff. Assert myself and grow as non-binary. Probably get a tattoo. Definitely care more for my body. Maybe move on from just having a peace treaty with it to actually liking it again.

Categories
Journal

New Year’s Eve 2019

On a rotating speck of dust, leaning away from the local fusion reactor on an arbitrary amount of orbits, an interconnected accumulation of deoxyribonucleic acid ignite chemical reactions in the lower troposphere that via electromagnetic waves triggers a release of monoamine neurotransmitters.

Categories
Journal

Visiting the past, again

Visiting the past is always a revelation. This year I found out there is nothing of me left in that shallow world where time stands still. Nothing – but an empty shell mistaken for a person I’m not. I can’t create my present reality here, the past is petrified.

The voices in the past repeat the same sentences for what seems like an eternity of a single moment. They’re at a shore, attempting to chew the rocks in their mouths instead of trying to talk to the ocean of time that is raging and frothing in front of them.

“What’s the point of talking to water”, they’d say if they could. Not seeing beyond. The past is not a place, it’s the inside of people.

Soon I’ll swim back out to my boat where time moves again.

Categories
Journal

Nightmare-device

I just woke up from a nightmare where I was forced to put my left hand into a wall-mounted medical device designed to perform emergency amputations. My heart was racing from the panic as I braced for the cut.

This could also be my 2019 in review.

Categories
Prose

Warninghood

I was crossing a street when a car that had been parked suddenly started driving towards me. The driver hit the brakes just in front of me and violently hit the horn. I took out my keys and on the hood I scratched the universal sign for idiot to warn other pedestrians.

Categories
Philosophy

The next field is?

Excite and assemble some energy and it will be quarks. Combine them and they turn into particles, who turn into atoms, to molecules, to chemistry, to biology, to consciousness, to… What new state would combined consciousnesses turn into?

Categories
Journal

Showing faults, hiding flaws

You never see your own faults the same way those close to you do. And they never tell you. On the other hand, they never see the flaws you hide from them. The darkness of absent light, the sharp broken shards of your heart, the empty container where your happiness should be.

Categories
Poetry

Inspiration

Inspiration is an endless ocean
I’m a nuclear submarine
Going deeper, the hull will buckle
Sonar or later

Categories
News

News | 2019-12-14

New site design – making it more mobile friendly. You can sort posts by categories like Short-stories and Poetry, find direct links to texts and read more about me under Info up in the menu.

My short-story The DreamCube Thread will be included in the anthology “Vast” published by Orchid’s Lantern on 2020-02-28. More info to come…

I have recently added old journal posts from 2017–2019 to this site, enjoy the glimpse into my rambling mind.

I’m kinda active on Twitter, so get over there and follow me!

Categories
Journal

Second person narrative

You are like
a beautiful sunrise
and you’ve got
three apples.

You give one to me,
and eat one yourself.

How many apples
remain when sunset
separates us
with darkness?

We only use second person narration in poetry and math problems. Is there some kind of hidden connection?

Categories
Prose

The Lady of Ignition

She started up the fire machine and went through the neighborhood like an infernal demon on a rampage. Smoke bellowed out as she went and it could be spotted from the other side of town. Pictures of her quickly accumulated all over social media, hashtagged: “The Lady of Ignition”.

Categories
Prose

Tigress

Free thinking is a gift from the electric currents of the cloud in the mind. What can a tigress thrash if she gets out through the fence? There are towers on the hill, that overlook the surroundings, emerging up over the fog of opaque thoughts. Can you spot the striped fur running like liquid through the mindscape? Invisible to the grazing gazelles with antlers like antennas. But there is no reception, they only get static, noise and low frequency humming. The tigress is unreceived, but eagerly expected. She is vigorous potential. Manifest the tigress – let her roar!

This is unedited automatic writing #3. I empty my mind, write without thinking, not caring to be coherent, to see what I will get. The result is not always “good” but posted here as part of a study of how to access the inner workings of creativity.

Categories
Poetry

Visiting

I dream of visiting Arrokoth
To reach the outward bounds
At the hem of the flowing skirt
Of our dancing mother Sol

Categories
Prose

Skybird

I just saw a bird in the sky. Wings wide, resting on the thermals. Looking down, surveying, planning where to descend next. Content at the moment. There is no wind when you glide on the wind. Calm while storming. Follow the air to be still.

This is unedited automatic writing #2. I empty my mind, write without thinking, not caring to be coherent, to see what I will get. The result is not always “good” but posted here as part of a study of how to access the inner workings of creativity.